Being a Better Grandpa

I was listening recently to a series of lectures on self-control.  I find this subject fascinating but also vitally important to living a good life.  Anyway, as I was listening it dawned on me that this is something grandparents could very effectively help their grandchildren with: delayed gratification, self-discipline and self-control.  Studies have shown that a student’s self-discipline is more important than I.Q. in getting good grades.  Other studies found that 5-year-olds who choose delayed gratification (1 marshmallow now or 2 marshmallows in 15 minutes) where found 20 years later to be happier, healthier, wealthier and generally better off than their immediate gratification counterparts.  Like I said, this is important stuff.

Some of it we appear to be born with...or without.  Beyond that, I believe these traits can be taught and learned and re-inforced in every child; adults, too, come to think of it.

If grandparents planned and prepared, they could make visits with the grandkids more fun and more meaningful than just ‘doing things together.’  We would start by developing a list of jobs around the house that are age, duration, and skill-level appropriate.  For example, cleaning the baseboards, wiping out the dirty inner-tracks of window frames, doing the dirty dishes, cleaning out/organizing the closet, making the bed, changing the bedsheets, etc.  This first step is very important, in part because devising such tasks is not something I am good at.  I would need to work it up in advance, maybe get some ideas from you parents and future parents.  Developing a lengthy list would make it easier to pick the right task for the right kid for the available time and circumstances.

The next step for the grandparent would be to develop a list of rewards.  A trip to Coldstone for ice cream, a trip to Family Dollar to spend the money they’ve earned, the opportunity to choose what’s for dinner or dessert ...again, the longer this list, the better.  How about a trip to Family Dollar to window shop, then ask the kids if they found anything they’d like to be able to buy?  Yes?  Well, maybe we can work something out...

Yes, we will be going to Coldstone; would you like a small or a medium or large?  (or like, love, lust or whatever they call it; see, I need to do my homework).  The idea would be to engage the grandkids in the decision-making process and the responsibility for making it happen.

So, I would ask for any ideas you might have, suggestions for jobs, rewards, & strategies.  Perhaps you have feedback; I would love to hear it.  Maybe you have other ideas for teaching self-discipline and delayed gratification to children; I’d love to hear about that, too.  hummmmm....if you write them down and share them with me, I’ll let you choose whatever you want at Coldstone!